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Confessions of Joe the Plumber

by: "Joe" W

Another day, another new client. Another suburban woman with-that's right-blocked drainage. Maybe she's single; maybe her husband isn't home. Yeah, I may be crass, but I've learned a thing or two about human nature while I've been rooting around in their plumbing. I got out of the truck, chuckled to myself, adjusted my package and my tools, and hit the doorbell.

She swung the door open, and I nearly dropped my toolbox. "Holy hell," I thought, "this woman is ravishing."

Photo: Fear Dorais

She was utterly poised, even as my eyes widened and were pulled, helplessly, down the curving lines of her tight red dress. I stood there speechless for a moment too long, taking her in: the blonde mane cascading over her shoulders, the perfect discipline of her hands, sheathed in long satin gloves; the back-seamed stockings leading straight as an arrow down those long, muscled legs to her sharp, shiny heels, and upwards into heaven.

"Come in, Joe," she said, reading my nametag. "My kitchen sink's backed up, and I'm so happy you're here to unclog it." Was that the up-and-down she gave me? I could feel the heat lingering in the air where she passed. And I saw her glance back to see the hunger rising on my face, smiling inscrutably.

Soon enough, I was kneeling down with the big box wrench to loosen the U-joint in her sink. My dick gave a twitch in my pants when I caught sight of her legs; she was standing close. I thought, "I can't help myself; why should I? Men are dogs, and I'm one of 'em." I was pretty sure she was hot for it, anyway.

Photo: Fear Dorais

I turned, getting up my nerve, with the pretext of asking a question. And I slid the big wrench under the hem, and I lifted her red dress high with the tool. I was desperate to see those delectable, muscular legs, all the way up.

"...What the hell?!" Her green eyes fixed on me furiously. She turned with vicious grace, knocking the wrench out of my hand with a kick. Before I could grab it back, or grab her, she pulled one elbow and one knee out from under me, landing me on my face on the tile floor. Her heels weren't even off, her hair not even mussed. And she had one arm twisted up behind my back, so that my elbow gave out jolts of pain when I tried to move. I struggled, hurt myself in her grip, and finally went still.

Photo: Fear Dorais

My head was pounding and my eyes were wide; she had me. Why didn't I react, or even just leave? Something in me didn't want to, I suppose. I could feel her breasts heaving slightly against me, my face crushed against the floor; I realized that I was rock hard, now, and it was impossible to hide.

"That was NOT acceptable, Joe. Just what the HELL were you thinking?"

Like a kid caught heading toward the light socket with a fork in hand, I had no explanation for myself.

"I....I don't know, ma'am. You're just so beautiful, and I wanted to see more."

"Well, that is certainly not the way to go about it. If you want to touch me, it will be only as I wish and with my permission. Do you understand?"

Fear Dorais

I nodded, and she let me roll onto my back, laughing as she saw the tent in my pants.

She towered over me, shoving the point of one black patent heel into my throat. I sputtered for a minute, but when she snapped, "shut up and listen, now," I did. And I hadn't heard English poetry like this since high school:

"Her legs were such Diana shows
When, tucked up, she a-hunting goes;
With buskins shorteed to descry
The happy dawning of her thigh:
Which when I saw, I made access
To kiss that tempting nakedness:
But she forbade me with a wand
Of myrtle she had in her hand:
And chiding me, said: Hence, remove,
Herrick, thou art too coarse to love."

A cavalier poet for your cavalier attitude," she said, narrowing her eyes at me.

I bowed my head; it was true, and I knew it, and I felt the blush of shame crawling up my neck, my ears. "But ma'am," I stammered, "I'm not Herrick, and I know I'm not worthy, but if I can, ma'am, I'll make it up to you."

Her voice was a purr with steel underneath.

"And just how do you think you could do that?"

I searched for words.

"Respect, ma'am. Your needs before mine. If there's any way you can put me to use..."

She stepped back and laughed, giving me a long look; she lingered over my body, my bowed head, the blush spread across my cheeks. "But you are handsome, and respectful once you had a little sense pounded into you. Sit up; you're going to worship those legs you like so much, and then I'm going to spank the snot out of you. And after that, if you take it like the man I think you are, you're going to give up that sweet ass for my use."

My cock betrayed me, leaping at the thought. And she dragged me to her living room, sat down in her chair, and waited. "Now come here and kneel down by me."

Fear Dorais

I'd never done such a thing, but I crawled to where she sat and kneeled, grateful just to be near her, at her feet.

She leaned back in her chair and pushed one leg forward, pulling up her hem to reveal, slowly, the silk-clad curve of her leg.

"Now get down and worship my legs just right. Starting with my feet. And you will NOT drool on me, boy."

I crouched on the floor and moved hesitantly towards her feet. The patent leather of her heels reflected my abjection back to me. I flattened myself on my belly and kissed the cool leather; I gently caressed the edge of her heel, feeling its slickness, the warmth of her body and the perfect curve of her arches. It was new, touching someone this way--with utter absorption, knowing it was at her whim alone. I held one foot, then another, in my hands, kissing them gently; then moved, slowly, with small kisses as I moved along her well-turned ankles, the muscles of her calves. I pressed my cheek against the silk stockings she wore, awed by the beauty those magnificent legs. Her muscles flexed slightly as she shifted position, and I realized that she if she caught my head between her knees, she could snap my neck.

"That's right, good boy," she said to me, softly.

Then, suddenly, she pushed my dreaming face away from her body, sliding her gloves off and slapping me on the cheek to break my reverie. I almost cried out at the loss, but I knew better.

"Now. Come up here where I can warm up that ass."

"Yes, ma'am," I tried to say bravely.

Fear Dorais

"Pull 'em down," she ordered, brusquely. I shook when the air hit my bare ass, and my pants crumpled around my knees and my work boots. She seized me by the back of the neck, tired of waiting, and dragged me across her lap. Her hands started with caresses, but moved to slaps. Sometimes she worked in rhythm, then caught me with a few harder blows, so that I writhed off balance, never able to predict or quite settle into anything. I tried not to struggle as her firm, knowing, merciless hands sent waves of pain radiating from my ass and outwards. I was sweating. She was laughing with delight, raining down pain and pleasure on my unprotected body. I could feel my skin glowing with pain under her hands.

She worked me over with ferocious thoroughness, spanking me until tears were forming at the corners of my eyes, until I screamed, until I couldn't hold up my own body any more. And then she stopped, stroking my ass gently with the hands she'd just used to tear into me.

"Mmm, you've been good enough, taken a lot for me," she said with evident pleasure. "Now get onto your hands and knees, yes, right here on the floor, and you're going to give me that sweet ass."

I arched my back, face hot with shame and excitement. She wanted it, and that was enough; as for me, I was ready to beg for it. Her hands caressed the hot, tender flesh of my ass, and I shuddered with exposure and hunger.

"You want it bad, boy, dirty boy, hungry bastard, and now you're gonna take it for me."

She made me wait while she went into another room to gather supplies, then tucked up that red dress, slipped a rubber down over the dildo that she waved at me, grinning, slipped it into her harness, and buckled it on. I was weak-kneed with anticipation, trying to breathe deep, relax my ass in preparation for her assault. And then she was on me, kneeling between my thighs, reminding me just how open and naked I was. The snap of her glove and the drizzle of lube on my hole came next, and I moaned, arching my back.

Photo: Fear Dorais

"That's right, boy," she said in my ear, teasing my ass open with her fingers, "open it wide, give it up. You're going to get fucked; open that ass for me, open wide, that's my good boy."

She circled my hungry hole with her fingers, gently at first, then with more demanding pressure. She slipped in one finger, and I gasped as she pushed past my sphincter; I breathed deeply, working my hips against her, desperate for more. Her breaths were coming faster as she opened my ass with two fingers, then three. I lost all sense of time, and her fingers went on and on. And when she nudged the cool head of her cock against my dripping hole, I was begging. "Please fuck me, ma'am, oh please, oh god, please!"

Some things are too good to be ashamed. She purred as she slid her cock home inside me, and I felt myself open up to take her deep, deep, deeper, until she was in me to the hilt. I was impossibly full of her. And slowly, teasingly slowly despite my begging, she started to fuck me rhythmically.

My painfully hard cock slapped against my belly with the force of her thrusts. I could feel the heat and the sweat of her body where she slammed her cock into me, her thighs pounding the backs of my thighs, her breasts crushed against my back through the fabric of her dress. She was growling, pounding me, snarling, "Gonna come in you, boy..." And I felt the wave of her orgasm run through her body, and rip into mine; I felt her fucking me savagely as she came, filling my ass. Oh, god, so good. There was no question of coming, myself; I knew I hadn't earned it. I'd be sore tomorrow, but it didn't matter. Pleasing her mattered.

Photo: Fear Dorais

For a little while, all I could hear was our labored breathing as she pulled her cock out of me, ever so gently, pushed a strand of hair from her forehead, and smiled at me.

"That's a good boy. You've done very well once you learned some respect."

I grinned like a fool, elated to have pleased her.

"And you will be back punctually at nine in two weeks from today, " she said.

"Oh, yes, yes ma'am,I said, astounded. And once I'd pulled my clothes back on and gathered my tools, she took my arm, firmly, led me to the door, and closed it behind me, and I stood there blinking outside her front door, in the bright sunlight.

Photo: Fear Dorais

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